...

Lost & found, and lost forever.

2011-08-10T02:50:00.007+08:00

Nevertheless, the memory remains.

End of summer 2011, the breakup season.

2011-08-09T02:47:00.006+08:00

Cases of break-up lately starts to make me feel like it's not only the end of my favorite season but also the break-up of many adorable couples around me. Can't help but wonder, what would have hurted us the most? To know that the person once whom we've always be there for, whom we count on without doubt, actually thinks we're not good enough for him/her? Or to be told that we're too good for them and that we deserve someone better?

Mom once said to me that she doesn't wish to meet any of my boyfriends unless I know he's "the one" for me. It got me thinking for a very long time, does "the one" really exist in today's dating world? Would you leave someone who's too good for you? Or would you stick with someone who thinks you're not good enough for him/her and strive your best to be who he/she wants you to be?

Call me cynical, but to me, "the one" doesn't smoke, drink, gamble, nor exist.

Goodbyes.

2011-08-01T04:50:00.003+08:00

Came back home to an empty apartment from a weekend in Berlin with colleagues. Weather was really bad over the weekend and it kind of dampened my mood to go around. I'm not sure it was the weather or I was just not traveling with the right company? It was not bad but certainly not fantastic.

I feel emptiness. Ever thought of why goodbyes are getting longer when we grow older? It started with a few hours in the kindergarden; 8 to 10 hours at school with a couple of hours more at the tiresome tuitions; half semester in the university or a whole short semester max; two to three months when work started; now it's the longest 6 months and counting..

I loathe goodbyes, especially those fucking long goodbyes. It saddens me every time to think of the loved ones who are always so far for my reach.

Life as we know it.

2011-06-23T03:28:00.006+08:00

It's been too long since I last written I forgot how to create a new post! Partly because the bar title has been changed to Dutch, and I could only click on each button by guessing the meaning of it. @@

There're so much going on now since February, don't know where to start.

Work has been pretty hectic lately. Worked the longest hour last night, first time in my life working around the clock! Amazed by the will power one can have during difficult moment. Friends who know me well would have known that I need my eight hours sleep every night if not I would get very cranky the next morning. Anyway, it went well and thankfully I had my eight hours after that. However, one thing that I hate most about night operation is having to wake up with a throbbing head! It's like waking up with a hangover, but you didn't get to drink!

Apart from that, relationship has been really chaotic in the past few months. It's certainly not getting any better with the family involvement. Honestly I have no idea if I'm making the right decision or not because everyone has different concerns and opinions, which leads to more decision makings and conflicts. It's too much pressure to take and at one point, I solely make the decisions following my heart. Maybe it may seems immature and puerile for some, but who the fuck has the rights to judge someone else's life other than the person who's living it through himself/herself?!

Good night and I shall continue sleeping to ease my headache. Ta! Xx

我们在彼此生命里轮回过

2011-02-07T00:05:00.003+08:00

“佛经说，过去，现在，未来不断相续轮回，形成三千大千世界。

今天的我和今天的你，都从过去来。
没有那时的你，也没有现在的我；没有当时的我，也没有现在的你。我们早已在彼此生命里轮回过。
这样的因缘虽然只有一生那么短暂，却要有前几世两个孤单瓢泊的灵魂各自修成的果？又要有未来几世我们相见却永不相识，只能是陌路的代价？”

by 张小娴

Merry Christmas 2010!~

2010-12-26T05:20:00.005+08:00

A collection of Christmas trees:

@ the KPN entrance

@ the city center square

@ my apartment! :)

Thank you for being so thoughtful, this is indeed a very special gift!!
Counting down thirty-seven days to go back home!!

(^o^)//

Maybe...

2010-11-11T04:04:00.004+08:00

Can't believe I start to doubt my decision so soon.. That voice in my head that grows stronger with each passing day..

The voice that says, maybe you don't belong here, that you would be better off if you didn't make this decision. And it's not even winter yet, wonder how emo would I be when it's winter?! FML.
T.T

I can have iPhone 4!

2010-10-23T05:15:00.001+08:00

First day at work!

2010-10-19T05:11:00.008+08:00

Date: Oct 18, 2010.

Today marks my first day at work after my full 6 weeks break! Almost forgot how it feels to be at work again. Luckily most of the colleagues and people at work seems nice enough, well they shook hands and said welcome at least.

However, bad news is, I'm going to have cold sandwiches for lunch EVERY day now...

And because it rained when I got off work, and because it's Monday and the nearest Chinese restaurant is closed... I had no choice but to resort to having croissant with fresh orange juice, again. FML.

What else, oh, I learn something new today; which is, they have Garbage Police here! And you'll be fined if you do not sort the rubbish properly or if you throw out your garbage not on the day assigned for the street you live in.

Where do I belong?

2010-10-15T19:05:00.007+08:00

Think I'm having some identity crisis because I just don't know where do I actually belong anymore?

Listening to Tamia's "If I were you"...
If I were you, I wouldn't be here
If I were you I would stay right where you are
I wouldn't come near this broken heart
Just turn around and leave here
And find someone who won't hurt you
Make sure that she still believes in love

I'm tryin' to protect you
From the lies that your heart tells
Even though it says that you love me
All I see is pain and misery
Seasons may change
But I can't forget the days of old
My heart ached when you walked away
I said I'd never love again

Counting down 2 more days to my new job. Finally got to work after almost 6 weeks, it's been a really long break for me ever since...my days in University? Just hope that I could pick up the momentum of work quick enough. There you go, the start of a self-inquiry journey.

=.=

Dejavu?

2010-10-12T20:29:00.004+08:00

It happened again last night. It happens almost every time when I go to a new place.

I would dream of being with my close friends, family, or colleagues; having a meal, or doing something together. And then, I would wake up, look around and wonder: where am I?

Sometimes, it happens when I go back to my hometown, awake in my own bed. I would then fall asleep again; feeling safe that it's a familiar place.

However, most of the time, I would need some time to recall what got me to this new place; waking up feeling a little upset when I finally realise that I'm away from them again...

:(

C'est la vie!

Meeting Jaden after 3 years

2010-10-12T00:55:00.006+08:00

Happy Birthday little shy guy :)

An article shared on FB...

2010-10-11T03:12:00.001+08:00

傻孩子，到现在还放不下对方吗?
　　傻孩子，到现在还想着对方的一点一滴吗?
　　傻孩子，有些人、有些事、我们可能偏偏放不下?

　　傻孩子，我来给你做个试验：
　　你拿着一个茶杯，然后就往里面倒热水，一直倒到水溢出来。
　　你烫到手的时候是马上松手了吗？
　　知道我想说什么了吗？
　　这个世界上没有什么事是放不下的，痛了，你自然就会放下。

傻孩子．
　　忘了吧．所有你留恋的．你回忆的．你拥有过的．
　　那些．都已是记忆．
　　缺失并不可怕．
　　可怕的．是无法面对．

傻孩子．
　　你无法轻易忘记放弃．是因为你付出过．
　　付出了．她就会像柱子一样扎根在心．
　　不要刻意去逃避．刻意忘记．那只会让你更痛苦．
　　绕开这个柱子．寻找未来的幸福生活吧．
　　那里．有你的理想．

傻孩子．
　　开始新的习惯吧．
　　习惯．每天一个人生活．
　　习惯．一个人过生日．一个人行走．
　　习惯．走过熟悉的路．面对熟悉的景．
　　你逃不掉．逃不掉的．
　　那么．就勇敢面对．现实．
　　现实是．一切．画上了句点．

傻孩子．
　　勇敢看着镜子中的自己吧．
　　这个悲伤软弱满面憔悴的自己．
　　这也是你．成长中的你．
　　这个你．正在逐渐死去．
　　新的你．即将重生．
　　寻你的路．你的未来．
　　你知道的．所有的浩劫．都是成长的祭奠．
　　做最好的自己．即使．一个人．

　傻孩子．
　　好．好．尽情发泄吧．
　　剥开自己的心．用文字．用声音．用所有能发泄的方式．
　　泄完了．就要振作．
　　看吧．你失去的．其实微不足道．
　　还有那么多人关心着你．以不同的方式．
　　所以．你并不孤独．
　　正是这样的失去．让你看清现在所拥有的幸福．

傻孩子．
　　别哭．别再哭．
　　不值得．真的．不值得了．
　　把过去尘封吧．别委屈．别不甘心．别不接受．
　　开始新的旅程吧．去遇见新的风景．新的际遇．
　　做你该做的事吧．有很多事．等待着你完成呢．

傻孩子．
　　生活褪去了曾有的颜色．暂时宁静．
　　别沉沦在这片宁静里．那会毁掉你．
　　你要明白．虽然残忍．但这个决定．足够正确．
　　现在的生活．不是你想要的．
　　为了你的理想．你必须学会适时放弃．
　　给对方最好的关怀．就是．变的更好．更强大．更幸福．

One more time, one more chance

2010-10-03T02:28:00.002+08:00

Anyone would do if I just wanted
To hold back my loneliness
But on a night like this
When the stars themselves seem like they might fall
I can't fool myself
One more time--I don't want the season to change
One more time--That time we spent joking together

I'm always searching, watching for your face
At intersections, in my dreams
Not that I could hope to find you there
Granted a miracle, I'd want to show you
A new morning, the person that I'm becoming
I'd finally tell you that I love you

Just how many times I need to get my heart shattered before it could ever be completed again?

Y____Y

Torn.

2010-09-30T23:37:00.001+08:00

Standing at the crossroad determining the future and neither decision seems right.

Turn back time

2010-09-09T18:43:00.015+08:00

Long holidays give me a lot of time to do many things that I've always wanted to do, like digging out childhood photos ^__^

Mom threw birthday parties for me since I was one and it stopped at the age of five. I didn't realise that until I've finished viewing most of the photos just now. I guess that's because it was my brother's turn back then. =.=

When I was one, I had a big Mickey Mouse cake, which I couldn't remember if I don't have this photo as proof. o.o
(morale of the story, don't buy expensive cake for the kids or if you do, keep a photo.)

Why Mickey Mouse? It's obvious la, look at my ears! =.=

Another incident which I'd clearly forgotten, the trip to Medan with mom and dad when I was two.

Look at how young dad was back then!!! No wonder mom fell for him... =.=

With mom and Yen Hoi, who's a pretty since small... *oink*

Sweet corn has always been my favourite, ever since I was two! (^oo^)~

Before Hoi moved to Penang, we spent a lot of time together at her place in... Arau? Forgot where is the place she used to stay. But then, it was fun because she used to have alot of toys and dolls! =.=

Then it was the three-year-old birthday...

Besides Hoi, another cousin of mine that I love, Joan a.k.a Ah Girl~! I still remember that I had always looked forward to their visit, once I got to know they were coming to our place, I would keep bugging my mom, "has they arrived yet??" "how long more do they need to arrive?" =.=

Argh.. Time to pack for tomorrow's trip to... an unknown island in Thailand. =.=
TO be continued...

If I have one super power...

2010-09-03T23:15:00.011+08:00

I wish I could turn back time...

to the time when i was 5 and i don't have to go through this heartache...
to the time when every day is full of new hopes...
to the time when things didn't go the way I'd once hoped, I could just throw tantrum, stamp my feet and cry out loud...
to the time even when I fell, someone would always be there to pick me up and tell me that the pain would soon pass and everything is going to be ok again...

Countless replays

2010-09-02T00:06:00.006+08:00

你做了选择对的错的
我只能承认心是痛的
怀疑你舍得我被伤的那么深
就放声哭了何必再强忍

我没有选择我不再完整
原来最后的吻如此冰冷
你只能默认我要被割舍
眼看着你走了

如果这不是结局如果我还爱你
如果我愿相信你就是唯一
如果你听到这里如果你依然放弃
那这就是爱情我难以抗拒

如果这就是爱情本来就不公平
你不需要讲理我可以离去
如果我成全了你如果我能祝福你
那不是我看清是我证明我爱你

灰色的天空无法猜透
多余的眼泪无法挽留
什么都牵动感觉真的好脆弱
被呵护的人原来不是我

我不要你走我不想放手
却又不能够奢求同情的温柔
你可以自由我愿意承受
把昨天留给我

Y___Y

Not just another Saturday...

2010-08-01T01:06:00.019+08:00

Woke up to SV's call at 8:30 in the morning as she'd touched down in KLIA, took a quick wake-me-up shower and pick her up from KL Central, without the help of GPS AND not getting lost! Not even one wrong turn! wootz! Proud of me or not! :))

It's been ages since I last saw her...the last time was in..Jakarta? Hmm, I've got all my memories mixed up lately, couldn't quite figure out where, when and who.. =.=
If this should get out of hands, I might as well forget who am I and get another new identity to live in this world! Good idea?!

Went to SS2 to have Dim Sum breakfast after 3 wrong turnings which brought us back to KL Central 3 times. Not my fault, I was only following instructions! Seldom see SV this lost, and she blamed it on the early flight she had this morning. o.O

Fast forward to 6:00 in the evening... (too late to tell all in details now, in short, I went for a superb hairspa and hair color with SV in Damansara. Spent whole afternoon in the hair saloon, missed the chance to meet up with Pam & Ling.. *sorry*!! >.<)

We had steamboat dinner at home today! :)

My favourite fishballs! I can be happy to have just 10 fishballs for my dinner o.o
Always remember how I used to fight with my bros over fishballs when we were small, and how he used his spoon to hit my head or it was me who hit him? =.=
yea, fishballs were very precious back then. huhuhu~

After one whole night of Mahjong Marathon, Max went to the morning market at 4 in the morning to get this:

Very special sauce made from whatever material that Pei Jing could find from her kitchen:

Pei Jing's home-made grilled chicken, chicken breast specially reserved for Southpark who was late for more than one hour..

Audrey's mom's Layered cake!!! At last ~

And it definitely worth the wait lorr... *hungry*

Found one of the many cooking talents of Max:

The bacon that he made is so yummy! And he insisted to make it fresh, so he was busy going in and out of the kitchen whenever people show up. =.=

Failed to use my camera's timer setting to take group photos for many times tonight! I think my camera hates me =.=

Eventually Max got up and take this for us.. -.-

Before they left,

Huiyee in action!

Hmm....they are not this rude usually. ;p

不愿

2010-07-22T21:45:00.002+08:00

不愿，爱的反面变成恨。
虽然，相遇，相知，相爱，却不能一起白头到老；
还是，希望你我都可以是朋友。
曾经的互相伤害，都已经不再重要...

Gemini

2010-07-12T17:57:00.000+08:00

双子座

双子孤傲是因为他们自信，双子善变是因为世界在改变，双子没有耐性是因为他们发现了不值得，双子冷漠是因为他们害怕被伤害，双子花心是因为他们没有找到真爱，双子不在乎是因为你没有看到他们的敏感。

笑>> > 　　>> >>> > 　　　　双子们的笑永远都是最单纯的，无论什么时候你都会看到一直都在笑的双子，因为他们一直都只想把自己的快乐带给别人，却只把悲伤留给自己，你没有看到过双子的眼泪是因为他从来不会在被人面前哭，当你看到双子的眼泪的时候，那么说明你是真的把他们的真心夺走了，因为双子真的很需要一份值得的依靠，他会每时每刻的在乎你的一切，他们很敏感的，会跟着你的快乐而快乐，跟着你的忧愁而忧愁，跟着你的改变而改变，但在你面前他们从来都是快乐的。

爱>> > 　　>> >>> > 　　　　一提到双子的爱，一般人肯定都会说：>> >>> > 　　双子座的人最花心。可是是真的是这样吗？双子和异性的关系好只是因为他们非同一般的亲和力，而双子的真心只有一个，当他找到的时候，他就会付出自己的一切让对方得到幸福，他要的不是他自己能和对方在一起，他要的是对方的幸福，和双子在一起会感到很随和，因为他会包容你的一切，你的一切优点和缺点，和双子在一起绝对不会觉得被锁住，你只要做自己就好，因为双子喜欢的就是真实的你，做作的人根本不会得到双子的心。

坚强>> > 　　>> >>> > 　　　　有人说双子很坚强，什么都不在乎，是阿，表面的双子确实很坚强，但是内心他们比任何人都脆弱，也许这也是风向>> >>> > 　　星座的人的一个特性，决不会让别人看到自己脆弱的一面，因为他们都是一个有一双别人看不见翅膀的天使，天生就会给别人带来快乐，双子们的眼泪是透明的，别人看不见，可是自己却能看得很清楚这样的透明的泪给自己开来双倍的痛。

人际>> > 　　>> >>> > 　　　　双子们的人缘很好，因为他们懂得你什么时候需要什么样的帮助，而且双子们会根据不同的人有不同的交往方式，双子很容易相信别人，所以经常会被欺骗，可是在欺骗后他们仍然会轻轻的笑笑然后说：没关系的，他骗我肯定会有原因。双子从来不会知道后悔是什么，因为他们时时刻刻都在为别人想，总会设身处地，可是这样别人根本就不知道，就是因为他帮助别人太多了，所以在他需要帮助的时候却总是孤立无援，然后继续的笑着，笑着找到一个角落，留下那颗透明的泪。

朋友>> > 　　>> >>> > 　　　　当双子的朋友真的很幸福哦！因为当你遇到什么困难时，他会比你更着急，甚至会失去自己宝贵的东西也会帮助你，他会带给你快乐帮你分担忧愁，可是你却看不到他的孤独和无助，当双子看到你不高兴的时候，无论这时他有多么的郁闷，他也会立刻露出最真实的笑容来帮助你。

执着>> > 　　>> >>> > 　　　　说双子善变，那只是片面之词，对于双子真正喜欢的东西，它是会执着的让人害怕的，就是因为内心太像小孩子太单纯，所以对于他们真正喜欢的东西，他们是根本就不知道放弃是什么的，除非是他们自己发现这个东西不值得，否则他们是绝对不会放弃的，只要是他们肯定的，他们就会有超出别人很多的坚持和执著。

自尊>> > 　　>> >>> > 　　　　双子的自尊很重要，对于他们最重要的恐怕就是这个了，他们懂得原谅，无数次的去试着原谅，就算别人让自己千疮百孔，他们也会无条件的有自己的宽容，有自己的原则和原谅，就是因为他们的自尊，他们的自尊心让他们相信这个世界永远都是最美的，因为他们的自尊不允许自己放弃这个世界。

分享>> > 　　>> >>> > 　　　　在双子的世界里没有分享，只有是你的或者是我的，他们不会把一样东西去和别人分享，因为他们认为这样对那样东西是不公平的，因为他在乎每一个人每一样东西的感觉，只要他认为这件东西是自己可以割舍的，他绝对会无条件的退出，去成全别人，对于欺骗过他们的恋人，他会选择原谅，但绝对不会再和他们在一起，因为他懂得这样不值得。

双子座的人真的很可爱，真的很需要人的保护和安慰，他们不会放弃世界，却会放弃自己，去成全别人，他们懂得原谅和理解，无论这一秒他有多讨厌一个人，下一秒看到那个人脆弱的一面，他还是会去无条件地帮助他，真的很傻吧？但是傻的好可爱，好让人心疼，痛过以后，他们依然会笑着面对以后未知的路，继续原谅，继续理解，继续快乐，继续的傻着，改变双子真的很难吧？因为他们的心都是金刚石作的，但不是说他们无情，他们的执着只是针对自己的，那么孤傲的一个人，也只是针对自己，因为他们不知道怎么表达自己的内心，所以他们选择了沉默。>> > 　

开始一个人生活

2010-07-10T11:07:00.001+08:00

送我过来后，他打了通电话过来，说：“要好好照顾自己。”

无题

2010-07-02T02:50:00.005+08:00

疯狂的睡了两天，今晚竟然失眠了。
近来的作息很奇怪，可以没天没夜的昏睡，也可以彻夜不眠。
在没有睡意的夜里，唯有自欺欺人的说，其实我只是喜欢在夜里思考啦，不是睡不着。
=。=

最近迷上上网看小说。昨天下午一口气看完了《小s之怀孕日记〉。
碰巧今天下午和同事一起吃午饭的时候，和刚生完baby的妈咪聊起了她的经历。
（正在怀疑是不是到了某个年龄的女生总会对这件事很好奇？）
Anyway, 虽然和她不是很熟（其实那餐饭刚认识啦 o.o），我还是忍不住地问了下我最好奇的，自然产吗？
=.=
(I know. 好像有点唐突，可是正在等候食物上桌的那段时间，好奇心特别重。ok, excuses.)
嗯，现在还是先别回想那内容，免得我又胡思乱想。
其实我还真的很多余耶！又没人说要生小孩。
-。-

最近好像想太多了。
是时候开始放空，放空。什么都别想。现在开始就只要把工作做好，好好生活。

喜欢阅读，暂时把所有的杂念放一边。(不好意思，跳一下tone)

.......发呆.......
呵。为什么还一点都不困啊！
=。=

exactly 2 years and 2 months old..

2010-06-25T03:48:00.003+08:00

天空灰得像哭过
离开你以后
並沒有更自由
酸酸的空氣
嗅出我们的距离
一幕锥心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
榨乾了回憶
那笑容是夏季
你我的过去
被順時針的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
粗心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给了承诺
却被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过

最美的爱情回忆里待續

Yay to my new camera!!

2010-04-21T20:07:00.010+08:00

^____________^

Date: 18 April,
Location: Surabaya, Indonesia.

Read many reviews about LX3 before getting this, I've heard and seen its superb capability, yet, I still got pretty amazed by how well the photos turn out! :D

Better room in this hotel considering the first night's room which was so dark, old and worn! o.O

my room and the view...

It's bit dark but I swear this is 4539871293847 times MUCH better than my previous camera which basically ruins all night photos; and, this one, can achieve this so effortlessly. <:

This camera totally worth the trouble of looking for it in most of the malls over KL...

Thank you bad dear!!! Love you!! *muacks*
Imma learning the manual setting soon. More fab photos on the way!
xoxo,

See ya, Budapest.

2010-04-18T21:12:00.005+08:00

Date: 14 March 2010

After 1.5 month stay in Budapest, completed 2 batches of trainings.

The first batch:

and the second batch:

Bye Budapest, you're indeed a very beautiful city, with very friendly people! :)

xoxo,
(^oo^)

To make up for what I've missed.

2010-04-13T03:17:00.023+08:00

Jan 1, 2010.

My new year resolution this year is to eat healthy, to love more, to have at least one family trip, to do better in my job, to get myself married. Ha ha ha! (^oo^)
Anyway, I seriously need to exercise more because I find myself easily exhausted, even climbing a flight of stairs. FML.

TO those who know me, please stop remembering my age, BUT remember only my birthday. I still want to receive birthday presents. *ehem* I think I've reached the time I want to stop remembering my age. When people ask me how old I am, I have to pause and do my math, then secretly minus the number with 4 wtf. Age is just a number ok! It's not important unless you're a cheese.
Stop asking how old I am. I'm always 24. q(^o^)p

Hmm, I didn't have much celebration on the first day of 2010. Stayed home with bad dear, fell asleep when we wanted to plan for somthing that night. Firework awoke me though, and I fell right back to sleep after watching it. Yea, I need my 9 hours sleep every night if not I'll get real bitchy the next day. o.o
I hopt it's nothing to do with age. *in denial*

Jan 3 - Feb 7, 2010 in Shen Zhen, China.
Attended trainings, so-called honeymoon month, but the after-honeymoon schedule is just so dreadfully packed. FML. I was the first to reach, Denise,Mohan & Jonathan arrived on the following week.
The time that I enjoyed the most was the HK trip, a.k.a. the skincare shopping trip. tee-hee.

And ohh, Pae was there too.
=.=

Met up with Li Xiang and his fiance, and understood why he always locked himself in his room during weekends in Jakarta last year, chatting with his then gf. Congratulations!
A mental note to myself, the name of the restaurant is "Guan Dong Feng" in "Wan Xiang Cheng". We almost got VIP membership from the restaurant because we had lunch/dinner at least 3 times a week during our stay.
Our second favourite dinner in Shen Zhen is Shabu-shabu. Because:
1) It's not so oily compared to normal restaurant.
2) We can have more vege.
3) It's not so fattening.
4) It's delicious wtf.
Gee. I always gain weight when I go to China.
Proof:

Fatty bom. So fat have to rely on my hair to cover my face. o.o
Anyhoo...Ibu who's blessed with sharper eyes and observation, spotted this:

KFC delivery, by Bicycle! *go Green*!!

Random photo:

Tired looking Hong Giap who arrived on that morning, Jine who's thinner & slimmer than me & Ee Pheng a.k.a. Strawberry. =.=

Feb 7 - Feb 28, CNY @ Home!!!

With sleepy-face mom & dad.

Us 5. Hoi, when do you want to show face with your boy?! It's been how many years...4 years we don't have you in our CNY photo! =.=

Went to Ling's. Paden's going to be mad at his mom 10 years later when he sees this photo. o.O

Went Malacca.

Bad dear and his family, after his bro's wedding dinner:

And the biggest news in Feb 13, 2010 is that... I've FINALLY got rid of my Braces!!
The braces I'd been putting on since June 6,2006, for almost 4 freaking years. o.o

I can chew on Chewing GUm now!! How cool is that?! :D

Ok, time to sleep. Tomorrow is my last working day here!
xoxo,
(^o^)//

Tigger!

2010-04-12T03:26:00.006+08:00

Date: Sept 2009
Venue: A park in Toronto

Found this very cute kid photo from my photo archieve:

"says hi"

Guess I scared him a little, he cried moments after that...

Y___Y

the daunting video clip

2010-04-11T02:37:00.009+08:00

Couldn't get the images of a Jap woman delivering baby out of my mind just yet. Watched that video last night and got completely overwhelmed by the extend of pain a mom could bear for the sake of her child. My highest respect to all of the moms out there...

Especially to whom who has to bear the child for 8-9 months, juggling the responsbilities of family life and a full-time job, you're simply amazing!

PS: To those husbands who cheat on their wives, shame on you!

也只不过如此

2010-04-09T02:28:00.002+08:00

小时候，恨不得可以赶快长大。
可以像表姐一样穿高跟鞋，化妆，打扮，漂漂亮亮上街，约会，看戏，逛街。

上大学的时候，讨厌乱七八糟的背书，考试，恨不得可以赶快毕业。
找份还不错的工作，自己挣钱，要怎么花就怎么花。

大学毕业后，非常幸运的找到一份真的还不错的工作。
租了简单人房，布置得舒舒服服的。开始了早九晚五的上班生活。

一晃，两年过去了。
开始对单调，枯燥的上班生活感到厌倦。

想尽了各种逃避的方法，
想换分工，
想什么都不干，待在家里休息，
不管爸妈坚决反对地想到日本留学等等。

日本大学申请竟然通过了，
同时，面试也通过了一份非常具有挑战性的工作。

考虑了一下，放弃了一直以来到日本留学的梦想。

新工作，新环境。
从一个一年只出国玩四，五天，搭飞机最长只有7小时的我，
到现在，一年半就快把30多页护照用完的我，
生活完全，彻底的改变。

无可否认，视野是变辽阔了，
性格也变独立了...

可是，这，也只不过如此吧？

再美的景色，一个人的时候，
还是会寂寞。

Off to Vienna for the weekend.

2010-03-25T05:14:00.012+08:00

date: 20~21 Mar, 2010.
\\(^o^)//

St. Stephen's Cathedral, at the heart of Vienna. Too bad it's under restoration though. Wiki says the building was white originally but turned black because of air pollution =.=

Window-shop around the shopping district, was happy to see a lot of adorable home deco. So wish to earn Euros instead of Ringgits! >.<

Imperial Palace, the main winter residence of the Hofburgs.

Gee. ALmost forgot to continue this post with the photos..Okay, gotta do it quick since the internet speed is good tonight.

Tiny me in front of the Imperial Palace. I miss Vienna..

Treble CLef, Mozart, and Me! :D

Should have gone to somewhere like Prague this EAster long weekend. But I was too ~~lazy~~ busy with my coming assignment.

After Imperial Palace, we went to the art musuem I once thought a University... =.=

It's just...too majestic to be a musuem, don't you think?

Well, it looks like a Ferrero ROcher, in green.

An army academy or something. TOo tired to ask what's what by that time... o.o

Some angels-looking musicians.. but the place did smell bad, probably because of the horses' poops.

Went to a concert that night, but didn't get to take any photos because it was not allowed to... Finally got to listen to Blue Danube orchestra, live. \(^o^)/

The next morning, went back to St. Stephen's Cathedral..

Forgot how many organ pipes are there, used to google once but, well, can't really trust my brain with figures those. Y___Y

And then, off to Schronbrunn Palace, the summer palace. Still cannot think of why these peoples need two freaking huge palaces in the past =.=

Not huge, but humongous! They even named this garden as Princess Sisi's garden. =.=

It was really an Uphill Climb to see this view, and what made it worse was it started to drizzle. =.=

Cam-whored on the train back to Budapest. Abrupt end. Gotta start to work a bit. Sigh.

Happy Easter everybody. GOod night!

xoxo,
(^oo^)~
ps: thanks Billy for his generousity (with his camera)!! :P
psst: I need a new Camera!!! *frustrated*

A weekend in Budapest

2010-03-15T14:59:00.005+08:00

date: March 13 ~ 15

I love long weekend! :)

Planned to go Prague for the weekend but ended up in Buda & Pest. Well, can go to Prague on the Easter holidays anyways.

miserable winter, why not you?

2010-03-11T02:09:00.005+08:00

location: budapest, hungary.
date: 10 march 2009.

why is it still winter anyway when it's already march? the wind is still freaking chilly at the moment when i was sitting here in my messy hotel/service apartment room.
need someone to talk to. but not anyone to talk to. but alas, that someone is always not there when i need him. it's starting to get more and more frustrated with this frequent travelling, jet lag, time difference, miscommunication and so on. i'm really sick of the situation now and every time when things start to get a little better, it goes downright to the where it started, or even worse.

it's weird that others could sense that i'm not feeling ok, not being the usual me. all the others, but not you. i couldn't stop asking why. why not you? the one i really yearn to turn to, the one i need some comforting words from? why not you? for one last time, stop making any promises if you don't mean to keep any.
why should i care when you don't really care. we're not going the same way.

cold and miserable. fucked up.

Merry, merry Christmas 2009!

2009-12-24T18:52:00.006+08:00

Before leaving work just now,
Me: It's so not christmasy over here. No White Christmas and it's not snowing at all..
Maureen: We have melted snow!!Look! It's raining now...

FML.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all!!

XOXO

Joke of the day

2009-12-21T12:14:00.001+08:00

Stumbled across a web dictionary today when I tried to look up the difference between a Blanquita & Caucasian... Found this funny yet creative definition of caucAsian:

A white male with the mathematical intelligence of an Asian, but unlike Asian males, has a visible penis. Hence the term "Cauc/Cock" and "Asian".

With examples:

"Person 1: That guy just divided by zero without breaking any mathematical laws! He must be Asian."
"Person 2: No, he's not Asian, you can clearly see his penis. He must be CaucAsian."

*LOL*!!!

I left my heart in Amsterdam....

2009-12-11T10:48:00.006+08:00

When can I go back? :(

yike

2009-10-28T09:55:00.002+08:00

The new photo looks too square but I don't have any photo editor tools to make it horizontal.

And I'd deleted the previous one.
>"<

the time of the month

2009-10-08T09:22:00.002+08:00

it's always making me so miserable during this time of the month.
luckily though, this time around, i gotta call in sick and had a good rest in my room.
this afternoon the pain was so intense that i thought i was gotta pass out or throw up. it was just, way too painful than the usual ones. =.=
i blame it on the weather here though. it's just too cold for me.

miss my home. can't wait to go back..
Y__Y

Lazy sunday afternoon

2009-07-26T21:37:00.003+08:00

I lazed in my room for the WHOLE day!

Ordered room servicer. My lunch & dinner:

plus my favourite snack:

Plan for next week

2009-07-26T20:42:00.002+08:00

- meet up with Denise, ryl ryl, YY and soon to be father of Chew-Ing Gum. =.=
- movies with bad dear!! (yes! he's going back too!!!)
- Klang Bak Kut Teh ( bad dear promised)
- Meet up with Max anf PJ
- I wanna go Sunway Lagoon........Genting......Malacca??!!
- Secret recipes!!! i miss their cakes....

6 more days! yiipppeee! >.<

2009-07-14T00:34:00.002+08:00

Got so disappointed, do not know how to put it in words.
Y___Y

sunday cam-whore afternoon

2009-07-12T18:17:00.018+08:00

One Sunday afternoon in Bangkok:

Got back from Robinson, bought a Maybelline mascara + Kate's light Pink & Pink eye-shadow and decided to try it on after agesss of not putting on eye-makeup.

I didn't apply it on my right eye though. Yea i like my left eye more because it's not -7.50 impaired compared to the right eye -8.50. Gee wtf. The truth actually is left eye is double-lid while right eye is not. Why lah! >.<

Covered it with hair. huhuhu.

Sigh. I'm bored. Lazy actually. Have to start preparing for tomorrow's class. But keep on thinking after dinner lah... =.=

What I bought so far (it's only day 5):
From Huai Kwang market which is whithin walking distance from the hotel -

From Suan Lum market one day after work...

for Shen Juan the-dog-lover. Immediately think of her when I saw this. o.O

Magnets for myself, YY and Ibu... So wish they could be here to shop with me, just like last year. =.=

And the first Saturday came, oh How Excited!!

Chatuchak!!!

Where can you get T-shirt with nice design and good quality at RM 13++ plus nice black shorts at RM 15??

CHATUCHAK!!

Where can you get good quality legging at RM 10???

CHATUCHAK!!

Where can you get wedges so nice that only costs 15% of a pair of C&K??

CHATUCHAK!!!

*SMUG-FACE*

:D

TOo bad I only got to shop for few hours... stupid period cramp. Gotta go back with bad dear next, next week!! wooot!!! Cannot wait. To see him, I mean.

*muacks*
(^oo^)

Mumbai & Delhi in May...

2009-05-31T00:07:00.024+08:00

Arrived Mumbai on 3rd of May, around 9pm local time. Busy airport traffic greeted me. Drivers honking impatiently, some even came down to argue with the so-called traffic police while letting their passengers got in the car...etc.

Caught sight of the company driver, Krishak, who was holding my name in the lines, and waited him for about half an hour to get the car. o.o
Mumbai was not as hot as I'd imagined. The weather was quite similar to what I had back in Malaysia but, well, just a tad warmer, and dry. =.=

I hate dry weather. >.<

Another half an hour later, upon reaching CyberPark, the company hostel, the driver started to ask for tips. Saying that he'd waited for me and had to skipped his dinner. Persistently. wtf.

The apartment. (Looking out from my room)

Bai Yan (bad dear's col's gf) opened the door and helped me with my over-weight luggages (brought 25kg of food in my luggage o.o). Mumbai's memory brought back unpleasant smell... a scent that I couldn't quite figure out what was it like. yikey.

Luckily, Bai Yan is a friendly girl. Who always sits in the living room, streaming movies with her lovely white mac air.

The living room area.

Took a quick shower and slept soundly that night, missing my Jakarta's hostel room soooooooooo much. Y____Y

Went to work the next day at around 830am in the morning. On the way to work, passed by the street of Mumbai...

And the training for Reliance started 3 days later. No rest on Saturday as it was their working day... =.=
Came Sunday, all I wish was R.E.S.T. And so, I spent my morning eating the Choc Rocky sticks and milo. Oh ya, I had 2 main meals for my lunch while I was in Mumbai.
Option 1) Milo + tinned tuna/sardine fish with crackers
Option 2) Milo + kiam piah.
The canteen was whithin 30 mins walking distance, to and fro. And I didn't want to melt myself under the hot sun for a meal. =.=

By the way, Chen Zhen ( bad dear's col.) and Bai Yan came back from the market on Sunday and cooked!! I'm so grateful for the meal!! It was also the only meal both me and Bai Yan had on that day. ha! :P

The BIG chef and the assistant chef. ^^

*The BEST meal for me in Mumbai...Thank you sooooo much!!

2 days later, I went to Delhi. Though Bai Yan warned me about the weather in Delhi, I was not prepared for such crazily HOT and DRY place at all! My face got so red once I walked out from the airport. Later on only I realised that, during the day, temperature in Delhi ranges from 40 to 48 degree celcius while at night, it's around 38 to 40 celcius. >.<

The hostel in Delhi, which is a tad better than Mumbai's...

The reward of Delhi, however, was the trip to Taj Mahal! But it comes with the price of waking up at 350am in the morninng cos' it took around 4 hours to reach Taj Mahal from the company hostel where I stayed in Gurgaon.

The...err...south or north gate entrance to Taj Mahal. I forgot @.@

Foreigner is required to pay Rs750 while the local only pay Rs20 for the entrance fee... =.=

Was hiding my hands behind cos' I was holding a bottle of 100plus. (no bags are allowed into Taj Mahal)

The Entrance.

From afar...

Very artsy right?! :P

Red FOrt: (lazy to write anymoe...)

Last day, IDEA trainees in India Training Centre.

the hug!

2009-03-14T01:25:00.003+08:00

cookie monster says:
hug hug!!!!!!
*Moon* says:
[magnet man to the right icon]
cookie monster says:
[frown-face icon]
cookie monster says:
always is this magnet like thingy come out
cookie monster says:
this is not hug la dear!!!!
*Moon* says:
hug hug!
*Moon* says:
thisis not magnet la.....
*Moon* says:
thisis a man
*Moon* says:
omg........
*Moon* says:
aih......
*Moon* says:
let me show u
*Moon* says:
how

*Moon* says:
[magnet man to the right]................... ..............[magnet girl to the left]
cookie monster says:
HAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
*Moon* says:
[magnet man to the right]......................[magnet man to the left]
*Moon* says:
[magnet man to the right]............. [magnet girl to the left]
*Moon* says:
[magnet man to the right]...... [magnet girl to the left]
*Moon* says:
[magnet man to the right]... [magnet girl to the left]

*Moon* says:
[magnet man to the right].. [magnet girl to the left]
*Moon* says:
[magnet man to the right]. [magnet girl to the left]
*Moon* says:
[red love icon]
*Moon* says:
:D
cookie monster says:
LOL!!!!

o.o

where's the promised happiness

2009-02-21T23:52:00.003+08:00

你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢

而你断断续续唱着歌假装没事了
时间过了走了爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了

离开时的不快乐你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得

你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了

只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢？

Roses from Dhaka

2009-02-15T02:15:00.005+08:00

Literally...

With a card!!

*__________*

Although it's not Hershey's kisses with romantic notes like what I always nag him to do. :P
But it's more than what the usual bad dear will do for a V-day. ^__^

I love you baby. Thanks for the surprise!!

Happy Valentines DAy to you too!!!
*muacks*

one outdated entry

2009-02-12T18:34:00.012+08:00

090109
My last night of CNY 09 was bored to death. Funny how I spent each day counting the day to CNY and how it passed in a wink and now I'm spending my last day and night of this day becoming a potato couch. Watching old movies, one after another, finishing the 'new moon', and woke up feeling headache and nausea... =.=

I felt suffocated. There's no air in this living room. Maybe I should open the window and let the wind comes in to clear my mind a little... I'd been doing anything I can to refrain myself from missing my bad dear so much. I've grew too used to having him around me for the past few weeks. ALthough we quarrel a lot, but it's a pain for not seeing him sitting on this couch, watching his drama while smiling to himself. The house feels so empty without his naggings, when there's no one to hurry me whenever it's lunch or dinner time, there's no one to be there for me when I have nightmares, yada yada. I'm so emo!

It was so painful to see the train fetching him to the opposite direction yesterday. I'd tried my best not to cry but my vision was again, blurred with tears. Y_______Y

Argh! For now, I shall do whatever I can to refrain myself from being emo. So sick of this kind of seperation. It hurts! >.<

On a lighter note, maybe it's time to talk about the seriousness of my state of blurness/forgetfulness/absentmindedness.
o.o

1) The unforgetable ' frying egg with lemon-flavored dishwasher' incident that nearly got me hospitalised

2) The missed flights episode 1 and 2.
Episode 1, wrongly remembered the arrival time as the departure time.
Episode 2, mistaken MAS as Air Asia, and wrongly accussed the Air Asia staff for not registering me in their list. *shame*!

3) My pity phone.
Left it once at a salon and Luckily the aunty was being so kind to call bad dear.
Left it in the car seats for numerous times.
Left it in the backseat of the cab in Jakarta and the driver had to remind me of it.

4) My ID card.
Left it once in a cab and several weeks later, the driver returned it to the office!! Such honest cab driver in JKT! You're my lucky star!!

5) My change.
Endless time of forgetting my change from the cashier at the Bread Story in JKT. And the last time was at the Memory Lane in KL, the cashier was honest enough to jog all the way up and return the cash back to me. *touchy*

6) My sonata.
Bought a Mozart Piano Sonata in Kinokuniya during one of my job interview trips from Penang and left it in the bus on the way back to Penang.

7) My housekeys.
Locked myself out for more than 2 times in Penang and needed CY, TW to perform card magic to open sesame. =.=

8) My glasses.
It's bad enough to have a -8.0 eyesight and it's worse to have a scatter-brain like mine to forget my second pair of eyes and had to wait for mom to DHL it to me.

9)

...

that's the most I can think of now. Remind me if you know more. I'm sure people around me are getting fed up with this, esp. bad dear. I can now picture his frustrated face whenever I told him I forgot something. lol.

Anyways, pics during my favourtie CNY.

Mom And Dad the happy duo.

Us as usual!! ^__^

Yesh I've got my own curler, finally! Still a noob using it though... during good times, will look like this

and it was like in 3 times I will fail once. o.o *pai seh*

Mom and 3 Meh, POSING! ;p

Another Loo family.

someone's showing off his height. guess who! =.=

everyone's of the same height now. weee~~~~

countdown to 2010' CNY!!!

leaving in ten mins to...

2009-02-12T13:22:00.003+08:00

Jakarta!! Where else?
@-@

Shh I'm perfectly happy with that as long as it's not Bangla and India.
At this moment I mean...

By the way, I don't miss my flight ok!!
So proud of myself this time!!
Only went to the wrong gate But not late lo

Shoot
Low batt!
Lalalala

Sigh I miss home

五连拍！

2009-01-07T23:32:00.007+08:00

1!

2!

3！

4！

5！

2009 Resolution

2009-01-04T22:36:00.003+08:00

Nah. I don't keep that. For what I've remembered, I tend to go the opposite way of what I plan for myself. So, just, let it be. ;p

I'm so under-disciplined. wtf.

I've started to listening to CNY songs last night and I told Denise that bak gua will appear on my mind when I listen to CNY songs.

She said she will think of Ang Pao.
$_____$

And just now I asked Bad Dear, he said he will think of the noisy fireworks.

Amazing how CNY creates different images in our minds.
^__^

Bye Bye 2008, Hello 2009

2009-01-01T01:18:00.031+08:00

Supposed to make this the last entry for 2008 but I guess it's too late now. I spent like 3 days to do this, no thanks to the flu that came at this bad timing *teary eyes* wtf.

Got distracted by the fireworks on the first night of doing this, it seems to be totally legal for them to have as much fireworks as they wish. I was in my room which is Level 39 from ground, glancing out through the tiny-but-still-have-60 degrees-view's window, it was colorful fireworks everywhere!! weeeeee~~*

Took photos of the fireworks, err...with my handphone, cos' my camera batt. is dead. No surprise. It's always unavailable at those important moments. Sucks! You suck! *arGh*

Anyway, 2008 passed by so quickly I have no idea I'd aged another 365 days wtf. Lines are getting clearer, eyebags are getting heavier, hair turning gray...
*touch wood*!!

Ok. A summary of Year 2008.

Honestly, my memory of 08 starts from the Seam Reap trip which was in...hmm...early of April! Yesh!

I was so frustrated with my job last year 1st of Jan.08', and all I did was watching world news, looking at how each country had their countdown for Year 2008, back home in Perlis.

Came Feb. 08' CNY, all I could remember now was the golden vase Mom put in the living room,

the bak gua, bak huu, Kheng's aunty choc cookies, couldn't remember whether we had all the relatives in our house or we had our CNY in SP? Damn.

THat's when you know you're old! You've got the memories of CNYs overlapping.Wtf.

AND the one that I drank the Shandy with Cig. butt!!! Yikes!!!!!!!

Please don't let that happen again. =.=

And then Mac. 08'.
The month I attended the most times of formal interviews in my life. (like very proud, o.o)
KL <> PG so many times I forgot how much $$ I'd paid for AirAsia. =.=
Not to mention the trouble that I caused...
For Denise & Tom Kurus & BT, to fetch me to and fro PG airport/ bus station.
For Jiang Chuan, to treat me a yummylicious Madam Kwan's rendang lunch.
For JK, to fetch me to feed the fish on a raining day.
For Lai and Yong, to let me tumpang cum lepak at their place in Setapak...
and the list goes on. =.=

See! I'm so troublesome.
>.<
April 08'.
The romantic month. Not telling in details cos' it's going to break your pretty glasses. Bleh.
And the most memorable trip of all, *tada*!

The best trip ever! Let's do it again!!!

Then came May 08'.

I left SOEM.
Left the bunch that I practically 'lived' with for 2 years. Miss those moments we celebrate each others birthdays, farewells, bonus months...etc. swimming sessions @ Pui's apartment's chilly swimming pool, cheap DVDs & fish-head steamboats @ Raja Uda... Gosh, my thoughts are so random. o.o

Next was, June 08'.
My first time to drive without Mom & Dad to KL. My first day in HW. Never really got the chance to know everyone in the office and was sent to Bangkok for a 3 weeks training.

Made new friends...

The THTC staff class, in which half of them were my previous project team members and cols now. Phew.

YY and Denise's visit..

Bad Dear was there too...

I MISS CHATUCHAK MARKET!!!!! When can I go back again!!! >.<

After those fantastic weeks that got my bank account almost empty, I lepak in KL for 3 weeks while waiting for the China visa that took twice to be done. Thanks to The Game.
That was July 08', my first jungle trekking team building.

And after that, department lunch @ one of the Jap restaurants in 1U (forgot the name, all I can remember now are Hachi-Hachi and Kiyadon in Taman Anggrek. wtf).

Verification trip to Shen Zhen in end of July 08' - Aug. 08'. Supposed to be there for 3 months but all because of The Game, we only got to stay for a maximum of 30 days. Packed everything for 3 months into 3 weeks and the results? Suck.
=.=

Hmm...nothing much about the trip, other than studies, trial lectures, salty food and cheap mani/pedi.

RMB30 if not mistaken for both manicure & pedicure. ~~Cheap!!~~ How Reasonable!!

What was great was the trip to Hong Kong during our last weekend!!
The tiniest hotel room ever @ Jordan street that cost HKD 480 per night. Y___Y

The Sport shoes street and the Women street in Mongkok, where they have a zillion pairs of sport shoes and Jap. brand cosmestics at 30% cheaper than Malaysia. wtf. Why is everything so expensive in our own country.

The scenic view at the famous TVB spot:

Met up Pei Jing and Max in HK. Both of them didn't change much though it's been almost 3 years since we last met on my Graduation Day in MMU Cyber. =.=
I'm OLD! wtf.

Anyways, after the trip from HK that ended in end of Aug., I got back to KL, spent a weekend in Perlis and got the Indonesia visa and off I went to join the project on 3rd of Sept. 08'.

Went to Manado for on-site deployment the second week I got here and spent 3 weeks there.

Beautiful sea but no i didn't get to dive when I was there. o.o

And then came my biggest fear in 08'.

The moment I got admitted to the hospital, right on the day I came back to JKT from Manado. Struggled for almost 4 hours before the doc finally confirmed that I'd Appendictis (wtf dunno how to spell) and that I needed an operation to remove that.

However, I consider myself lucky as I got to come back to Jakarta for the surgery. I got to rest for 10 days after that and most importantly I had Bad Dear to take care of me!!

Hmmm...and I spent my Oct., Nov., Dec. 08' in Jakarta as well. Bleh.
Too lazy to continue cos' the connection here sucks. wtf. Not my excuse ok.

By the way, HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY to Bad Dear,

MERRY X'MAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best of luck in the coming days/months.

*muacks*

P/S: CONGRATULATIONS to Pam! Welcome to the world, Paden. ^__^

Bored! with capital B

2008-12-28T17:54:00.002+08:00

i even had to make joke of my shit.

which went like this:

'dear my shit was so long just now i need to flush twice to say bye-bye'

wtf!
what's wrong.

当

2008-12-23T00:21:00.004+08:00

当，甜蜜的时刻愈来愈少，争吵的时侯愈来愈多；

当，不理不睬取代了原先的温柔问候；

当，期盼一次又一次的落空；

当，当初的不能失去彼此变成今晚的毫无所谓；

当，爱情开始变质时；

是否应该放手让你我更好过一些？

Frustrated!

2008-12-07T00:07:00.006+08:00

so...disappointed and heartbroken.

and it's ironic to think this is how i am going to spend my day, to sit here typing away, healing the pain, the humiliation, trying to assure myself, to pretend that everything is ok. not to mention having to cope with this fucked up fever and headache and fucked up assignments.

my life cannot be anymore miserable. can it?

fuck it.

it's been 14 hours!!!

2008-12-06T18:05:00.001+08:00

and i still don't get any sms nor call from you!!

where are you dear????????

T_______T

depressed

2008-11-30T17:59:00.003+08:00

freaking tired of studying, studying and studying; early in the morning until midnight. only stopping for meals.

head is cramped with commands and abbrevations and theories.

waking up in a shock every morning worrying that i slept too much and wasted the time to study.

worried of the questions that i cannot answer when being asked.
got my head planned with timetables of what to study everyday.

passing each day without really living the moment like a zombie.

kept questioning why there ain't enough time. no guidance. no nothing.
no mercy.

God. i'm so depressed.

>__________________________<

Fair-weather friend?

2008-11-30T03:21:00.002+08:00

is that true that we can only be together during happy moments?

Y_____Y

when my fault is your fault and your fault is your fault

2008-11-29T02:30:00.002+08:00

o.o

we had a quarrel just now ~~as usual~~.
i forgot to check my phone for the sms that i asked him to send once he reached home.
ok. it's my fault. i got too into the game when i saw the pool table.
o.o

my fault. i apologized. i said sorry.
but. he said my sorry seems so cheap compared to his.
wtf. saying that i've always had my fault to be his fault and his fault, still be is his fault. saying that i always quarrel the way back it seems that i'm the one who's always right and he's the one who's always wrong. saying that in this relationship i'm the one who can make mistake and he's the one who cannot make mistake kinda thingy.

am i that bad? am i? am i? am i?
i did say sorry. why is this happening every time when i tell him that i'm sorry. 'u never mean it'. how do you know i don't mean it if u don't even want to listen!

argh!

it's all my fault. no no,the pool table's fault.
-__________-"

we are sorry.

suddenly...

2008-11-26T19:49:00.004+08:00

every thing seems so strange without you...

suddenly,
the work becomes more challenging without having you beside, someone i can tell and complain and talk...

suddenly,
i have nothing to look forward after a long day at work...

suddenly,
i'm scared.

Y___Y

the way back home

2008-11-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

it's not a good day at work today though it ends quite well with quantum of solace.
(^__^)p

during the break time for prayer today, i had a small chat with kresno, a trainee.
he said he doesn't quite like the city life here in jakarta, the air is polluted, the road is always full with traffic... it's just too hustle for him.
he said he prefers to work in a small city, preferably the one near to his hometown so that he can go back to visit his parents more oftenly.

it reminds me of how i used to go back from penang to perlis every twice a week.
the time when i would rush to finish my work on a friday afternoon, drove all the way back from butterworth to home. passing by those paddy field, the sunset, and the dinner that awaits when i reach home...

guess, i miss home.

looking back the two years that had passed by, maybe i did the right choice, maybe not.
but i wish, for the two years to come, i might look back again to what i am today and be grateful for my choice.

-n-

something to be remembered

2008-11-03T20:08:00.007+08:00

this morning we both woke up early and planned to go to work earlier as i need to get the training exercises printed before i went for the class.

however, it was getting late, as usual. (couldn't find the matching socks! o.o)
and when we got down at the mall entrance where we can get cab EASILY every morning, to our surprise, there were more than one dozen of ppl lining up, waiting for the cab. i started to curse.
shh. the worst has yet to be told.

and so, being a little ~~kiasu~~, scared of being late ok. we walked down to the roadside and successfully flagged down a cab! i was kinda relief the bunch of indians in front of us didn't cut queue and get the cab.

however, the relief was short-lived as the cab BROKE DOWN half-way.
A BREAK DOWN WHEN I WAS IN A HURRY.

fucking swei.

anyways, the swei-est thing is we had to brave ourselves to WALK, under the heavily-polluted air, busy traffic, muddy road, ALL the way to grand tropic hotel.
@________________________@

AND, the swei thing is! when we were trying to get a cab standing at the road-side, inhaling high concentration of CO2, we saw that bunch of kind indians passed by us IN A MOVING CAB.

@________________________________@

ok. so u think i'd had enough right! even when i thought i cannot be any 'swei-er', the hotel that always has thousands waiting cabs, has NO cab AT ALL.
@________________________________________________@

WTF.

'where the hell did all taxi drivers go this morning!!!'

*happy 2 months anniversary in jakarta*

work pressure

2008-10-31T19:55:00.002+08:00

like i'm still under-perform.
like it's not my best, yet.
like there are still one million and one things that i need to know.

=.=

*breathless*

Forgotten

2008-10-12T13:25:00.005+08:00

Guess what! Tom Kurus said YY (mini) and I have a thing in common, that is we both do not blog when we got into relationship. That is simply wrong, wrong, wrong! :P

Okay, first of all. I was kinda busy with my OJT, got admitted in hospital for 3 days, bet most of you knew about this. Power of mouth-to-mouth gossips. Glad to know I still worth a word of gossip though. HAHAHAH.

To cut the story short, which I'm clearly bored of explaining. I'd got this pain I thought was gastric when I was away in Manado (it's a great island for diving!) and so I ignored it for 2 days and on the third day when I touched down Jakarta, the pain got worse and off I went to the clinic and then got referred to a hospital. Done.

The first ever operation I've ever had in my whole life, minus the tonsil removal operation when I was 5. lalala. Denise said I'm good at getting people worried about me. I'm craving for attention, what to do. HHAHAHA. Guess I'm still doing well at this self-talking business. =.=

Alright, some random pics from Manado taken by Gao. Obviously, I'm still very much the scatter-minded old-self cos' I brought my camera charger together with the battery but I left my camera behind. Missed out the beautiful sea big time.

This is what I get every morning when the curtain is pushed aside...

And not to forget the very clear sea-water where you can see fishes swimming from above. Sigh. I hate my forgetful brain cell. The sea is simply too nice to be missed!

Imagine how nice this could be with Tom kurus/Denise/YY's High-end camera.

Praying hard

2008-08-21T22:50:00.006+08:00

This weekend is the one that I've been looking forward to...

Soooooooooo looking forward.

BUT, as for the next weekend...
It is

versus

I've been playing this GOOD girl role for so long, dear God. Please don't do that to me...

Y___Y

Damn it. FOCUS on the freaking Oral Defense now...
=.=

想

2008-08-19T19:52:00.004+08:00

好好的大哭一场。。。

什么都不理。

好累。

累得不清楚自己想要什么，期盼得到什么。

Phew big time...

2008-08-15T18:58:00.002+08:00

^__^

Do not know I should be 'phew-ing' so early or not although I kept getting their assurance that I do not have to worry about the Oral Defense thingy which is going to be held next Friday.

Oral Defense!! See! Look at the words also make me chilled.
@___@

But then, the MOST important thing is that I have got to delay one of the products and only need to prepare for the switch. Somehow I feel down, because it's like I only got to settle one product instead of three in the initial plan. Low efficiency huh...

Don't care. Now it's time to finally get some Proper rest!!!
*weeee*

Looking forward to the Hong Kong shopping next weekend....

And, the GOOD NEWS informed by Nicole simply is the Best thing that's ever happened to me for the past few weeks. Hopefully I won't screw that up...

Faster cross your fingers and wish me good luck!! ;p

*phew*

No One

2008-08-14T20:12:00.006+08:00

Dedicate this entry to my dearest,

I have always wanted to write something about us here. Somehow, it always ended up in trash because I do not know how to further express myself..

I do not quite know how to tell you that everything's going to be alright when you were down and upset.

I am not the perfect girlfriend for you because I have always hurted you with my silence whenever I am angry. I know you hate that but I couldn't help it. I just couldn't bring myself to talk when the person I'm talking to is mad or angry at me.

I know I've broken a lot of promises that I made. But hey, I did not do that on purpose I swear..

You have always be there for me whenever I need help.
Be it a phone call away.
Or a hug that never fails to cheer me up.

For all those pain that I've gone through in the past, I've made myself to swear that I'm so not going to love anyone more than I love myself.

But...things have changed since the day I met you.

All I want is to be with you, to fall in love with you, head over toe.. with no regrets.

I still believe that love is just that simple, it's either you love or you don't. And it is so not possible if not impossible to find someone who loves you as much as you love him At The Same Time.

I am going to cherish everything that we have. Through thick and thin, we will always, always stick together... No matter how far we have always be apart. No one is going to replace you in my heart.

No one...

*I love you*

Look forward!

2008-08-13T20:35:00.005+08:00

Few minutes ago, I browsed at D's farewell photos on facebook and realized, it has only been two months since I left Sony. It definitely feels longer than that.

Just when I looked at her photo of her empty desk, that we used to sit together and bitch about everything... I Miss Those good old times.

Sometimes I blame myself for leaving Sony, a familiar job. And to go for a job that's so out of my field. @__@

However...
I remind myself of each and EVERY frustrated moment that I've once had. To make myself to move forward.

I've asked for it and I've got the chance for a change.

I shall not complain. No.

-.-

Beautiful 百草园

2008-08-09T20:50:00.019+08:00

I like it here!

This room is so much better than the previous hotel in town which claims to be a four-star hotel. I have no idea what is their standard of 4-star over here cos' that hotel doesn't even have a freaking simple gym room ok. 4-star. *konon*

Ok, I shouldn't whine about that now.

Because... I've got to move in to this lovely place, the 'hostel' in HQ. It's so lovely and it's much more nearer to the office.
\(^o^)/

Nice & cozy room.

*bleh*

And here, they not only have a well-equiped gym room. They have this beautiful, nicely kept garden...

THE CLUB.

With like, 3 swimming pools...

And even beach volley-ball!

=.=

ok, time to study.

北京加油！！
q(^o^)p

I'm back!!

2008-06-23T12:03:00.003+08:00

lol

To everyone who's waiting for my return,
Thank you.

(Talk like there're thousand of ppl waiting and clicking every sec..)

Hahahahhahaha!!

By the way, waterboo, thanks for visiting even during my absence..

I'm now having my one-month training in Bangkok and going back to M'sia this Saturday. The Internet connection in the hotel is so damn expensive I would rather spend my $$ in my favourite Chatuchak market. LOL.

Photos laters!!!

To all readers, (LOL) please take care and enjoy life!!

Weeeee~~~~~~~~~~

And to all the girls out there, DON't Ever, EVER, let your boyfriends come to Bangkok alone, or with their gang of 'pig-dog friends'...

LOL

chao!

惆怅~~

2008-05-15T23:25:00.004+08:00

明天就要离开了。

离开一班﹐这两年里﹐
陪我一起说笑﹐帮我打包午餐﹐
陪我一起过生日﹐
週末陪我逛街﹐吃饭﹐ 游泳﹐喝茶﹐看戏。
在我遇到烦恼﹐ 情绪低落時﹐替我打抱不平﹐
陪我 bitch﹐给我加油鼓励。。
一起请假去旅行﹐一起晒黑。
新年一起捞生﹐吃火锅﹐赌博。
一起在迎新晚會上跳舞献丑。

还有好多﹐好多的回憶。。
>__<

虽然說﹐沒有离別的惆怅﹐
就不会显得相聚時的开心﹐甜蜜。
虽然說﹐天下沒有不散之筵席。
虽然表面上﹐我若無其事。

但是﹐实际上我...好舍不得。
捨不得离开你们。
-____________-

明天﹐就让我们像普通週末般道別﹐说再見﹐好吗?
xoxo

Left out

2008-05-14T16:33:00.002+08:00

So so so so wanna join Denise and YY and Tom (not)Kurus to AUS trip next March.
This is the first time we can go to an ang moh lang country ler?!!
No more (lesser) Asian faces and we can actually wear color contact lens without feeling weird!!!
*argh*

Screw my unknown schedule ahead.
T______________T

*wtf wtf wtf*

The 100th Post! Happy Mother's Day!!!

2008-05-12T12:49:00.008+08:00

Went back home last weekend for this:

Mother's day and Father's day celebration. ^__^

I had a late nap that afternoon and apparently everyone had to wait for me to get ready. Mom could be so annoying when she kept yelling your name in 5secs interval. =.=

And I got my make-up semi-done when I hopped downstairs.. argh! Not to mention I left my phone at home..double argh!

Anyways, we made it on time to the dinner, which was held in my primary school hall. Well, a bit late actually. ;p Yi said he has no money to go for a haircut. o.O
Please kindly donate some penny for this poor fella. ~~wtf~~.

The gan-jiong Mom and me.

Happy Mother's and FAther's Day!!! (^o^)//

Ho Ho Ho!!! If I keep this semangat up, I'm gonna break my highest record of 10 posts per month!!
*smug-faced*

teeheeheee~

Layan Diri~

2008-05-11T16:19:00.004+08:00

*count-down 6 days to meet my love*
q(^o^)p

lalalalalalalala~

scary post

2008-05-10T20:47:00.010+08:00

before that, pls be warned. don't scroll if you're eating or plan to eat..
*LOL*

1:

2:

3:

4:

And yet, see what he's up to..?

DOTA! Yes! DAY AND NIGHT!!!!!
*crap*
I hate DOTA. Don't ask why.
;p

Zeng zeng zeng!~

2008-05-10T09:20:00.004+08:00

this morning after shower, i shamelessly took this pic because.....
obviously the new skincare is working lor!! Weeeeeeee~
let me hao lian for 3 more minutes...

*gua gua gua*

Ok, gtg.

psst: I miss you too.. (^oo^)~

心痛

2008-05-10T00:17:00.008+08:00

當他說:
"或許我們該考慮我們適不適合在一起?"
的時候..

我的心,
好痛;
好痛...

Y____Y

Our farewell dinner

2008-05-06T23:29:00.008+08:00

To date, we have been staying together for...around 1.5years? Hmm...I forgot when did we move in. Colleagues said our house's Feng Shui is good because almost all of us manage to leave. o.O

I don't buy that. But somehow, our house's turn-over rate is quite high. lol.
(Michelle and SK left before King & wife and BT shift in.. =.=)

Anyways, end of May, this house will officially be dismissed.. sort of sad huh..? =.=

And CY suggested we have dinner together as our farewell dinner at Khun THai ( a THai restaurant I cannot resist (^o^)p )

King & wife

Wilson the treasurer, me and CY

Wilson had done such great job in keeping track of our rental, utility bills and those monetary stuff. Thanks heaps!! ^____^ Your effort is so highly appreciated indeed.

Lastly, us together.. Guess who's missing?! So not steady lor that fella.. =.=

And guess who's the only loyal one staying in SO-called compaNY?? lol..

No doubt, I feel sad to leave you guys and especially this room of mine. (Though it's messy most of the time, it's comfortable!) Gotta miss those weekends we talk crap and watch TV downstairs (esp. with CY the talk ~~cock~~ crap king), the gambling session during CNY, the kutuk talk bout ppl we don't like..etc

Take good care of yourself out there, WIlson.
No matter what you do, GOOD LUCK!!!!
Keep in touch guys!!

A not-so-peaceful Sunday

2008-05-05T15:04:00.006+08:00

"Jie..."
My heart sank.

It's painful even to watch him lying on the bed. Somemore the stupid medical officer don't let me to stay with him in the emergency room.

We waited for him to come back for dinner last evening as he'd tuition at 8. Mom got agitated when it was 20 mins pass 7 cos' she shooed me to get ready at 6. =.=
Was planning to go for seafood dinner at Kuala Perlis ok! *haih*

Mom talked impatiently over the phone asking him when he wanna come back. And lastly, we decided to go meet him in town for dinner before his tuition. TOld mom to ask him eat alone since he's the only one who couldn't make it. Dad and I were craving for crabs... -______-
Anyways, being the son my mom sayang the most. We changed plan. Grr...I was scolding him so much in my heart on the way to town. #)($*&@)*#$&)@(*$

But my heart sank when I saw him sitting at the road side with bruises all over his hands, shoulders and ankles. =.=

TOLD YOU NOT TO DRIVE MOTORBIKE ONE LOR! Don't wanna listen to me...

Anyway, please please please.. No more driving on that stupid bike. It's gonna make all of us die of heart attack one day. Mom especially! You should listen to her talk like rap in the car and see how she ran across the busy road, can't even wait for dad to turn to the other side...

Phew. What a way to end my usual peaceful Sunday.

GET WELL SOON, bro.

psst. please go salon to get your hair shampooed. it's goddamn smelly. ;p
and yea, you owe me crabs lor!
o.O

Mom's 08' belated birthday

2008-05-03T20:00:00.014+08:00

Sorry I'm 3 days late to celebrate with you this year...

Psst please remember to blow the candle and make a wish before you cut your cake next year... *lol*

Happy Belated Birthday!!! ^__^~

Ping's eyes shut and look at dad.. =.=

And lastly, it's my turn!

Sorry if my bare face and messy hair freaked u off..
*gua gua gua*~
Stay at home only, no need put on makeup gua!
;p

猶豫

2008-05-01T21:24:00.006+08:00

你是我的幸福嗎
為何幸福讓人如此猶豫
愛情漸漸模糊
你的付出我總不夠清楚

你是我的幸福嗎
為何幸福讓人變得猶豫
我愛你
不再懷疑
只是...

你是我的幸福嗎
為何幸福讓人如此猶豫?

Ma, Happy Birthday!!!

2008-04-30T22:21:00.013+08:00

Accidentally found these when i was browsing through my folders..

year 2005...exactly 3 years ago!! @__@

I remember dad asked me what he should buy for mom that year..and i said roses!! *LOL*

And I bought mom the photo frame, cut those pics to fit in. ^__^

AT night that night, mom invited her friends over for dinner..

And they bought her another cake.. =.=

mom and dad. dad after golf. look at his red face. o.O

sigh..i'm sorry i cannot make it back home this year.
i know i promised to.
anyways,Seafood dinner on me this saturday!
;p

Happy birthday ma!
Thanks for pampering us all these years. *muacks*

psst: HAPPY 26th ANNIVERSARY!! Gosh I'm old.. @__@

Late is better than never

2008-04-21T21:07:00.025+08:00

Tom said he's in the process of blogging our Siem Riep trip and me being kiasu, said I just wish to post up pics (esp. those funny ones)cos you know, though kiasu, I'm...lazy, ;p and most importantly, I've almost forgotten most of the names of the places we visited.

#^o^#
*pai seh*

So here goes,

upon arrival at the airport

The heat! Eventhough it's 8 in the morning, it feels like the heat we have in M'sia during 11 in the morning.
=.=

The hotel staff was there to pick us up..holding this:

which explains this reaction of Denise's. ^____^

Denise and Wilson who loves to act cool.
And me being the background, gonna melt under the HOT sun.
o.O

Golden Temple is the guesthouse we stayed for 3nights.

It's ~~cheap~~ reasonably priced and it's located near the PubStreet near town area. Quite convenient really. PLus they provide tour guide and transportation services. And and and, the most important thing is that, they cook the most yummilicious AMOK!!! *drooool*

It's one of the local dishes, in chicken,beef and fish. With lotsa onions and coconut milk.
Let me know if you're interested. ;p

By the way, we went to the first temple after the purchase of temple pass.
The first one:

And after that,three of us bought hats.

Looks like aunties coming back from paddy fields. LOL
Sorry for my very not happening umbrella. CY said I can take his and not to spend on umbrella. @__@

Anyways, more pics:

The dusty road with trishaws that most of the ang mohs like. I cannot understand how they choose trishaw over van/car lor. It's dusty and it's so hot! It's like breathing dust and sweating all over from head to toes, not even one single strand of your hair is dry! Ok, a bit over. *bleh* it's just too Hot for me.

The second one if i'm not mistaken. Sorry i really cannot recall the name.. =.=

Absolutely no idea what temple is this. But it's really nice, isn't it. Tom once again proven himself as one of the best photographers! *claps*

Ok, from now on, I'm not going to repeat that I cannot recall the name of the temple. Just..~~fucking~~ browse through ok. *no more patience already* o.O

to be cont..

Boring Sunday

2008-04-20T16:56:00.005+08:00

>__<
Agghhh!! Bored bored bored.
What to do?!
I've cleaned up ( a little) my room; toilet; laundries.. still in the washer =.=
It took me 2 hours to do all that. wtf. esp those bags.. happily collected many RM1 notes from each bag. lol.
And after i'm done with the cleaning, i text mom bout how long i took and that i cannot believe i'd lived with so many rubbish for so long. And guess what she replied?
" Now only you know."
-________________________-"

I just don't like to do house-chores. which explains the messiness of my room. But I tell you, I know exactly where I put my stuff one ok. *bleH*

ahhh...boring boring..
wanna sleep but couldn't. super weird! where's my super power of sleeping anytime, anywhere i want?!
...

that's the danger of falling in love..
the loneliness!!
=.=

someone pls call me out!!!
my number is 012-9350 xxx
LOL

psst: luckily tom kurus and dirty cat came for the dinner rescue before i starved myself to death in my room. hahahah!! *arigatou* (^oo^)~

waterboo..

2008-04-15T21:18:00.001+08:00

mind to intro yourself?

Missed

2008-04-13T22:59:00.005+08:00

Read someone's blog today and I couldn't agree more..

When we were younger,
we got into relationships.
Some were real,
some were not.

And it happened at some points where,
we thought we'd met the Right One.
but it didn't last long.
we thought we were too young to be tied down;
we took things for granted
we presumed the next one might be better..

and so,
we moved on.
and along the way of getting that better someone,
we loved, we lied, we betrayed..

comparing about to love, or to be loved.
it can be torturous to love cos' he's not
loving you as much as you do..
it sucks to be just an option in his life while treating him
as the priority of yours.
-___-

to be loved is not something good either,
he's always there for you and
way too often, he's taken for granted.
worse, you constantly look out for someone that you love.
-___-

it won't work if you were to meet the right person at the wrong time,
you were too young to get serious.
it won't work if you were to meet the wrong person at the right time,
you just couldn't.. fake it.
and it definitely won't work if you were to meet the wrong person
at the wrong time.

the cycle keeps going on and on and on..
and when you look back one day,
just to realised that you've missed the one,
who were there once you thought you were too young to be tied down.

and now you know why i'm so afraid of falling in love..
=.=

messy thoughts

2008-04-08T20:22:00.011+08:00

there're so many things running in my mind i'm going crazy any minute
(.___.)

as i said, i seriously don't like to make decision.
especially the times when the decision is coupled with open choices.
and each of them leads to different possibilities in your future.
it fucking decides my future ok.
what's wrong with me?!
i cannot imagine i've just turned down the offer i'd been praying for so damn long.
ever since i started to work i guess. i'd been secretly wish for the chance to come along. and when it fucking comes. i gave it up.
what's wrong with me!!!!

i was scared to pray for things that i want.
yes i'm a coward and i'm afraid of disappointment.
i'm afraid of facing the pain after wishing so hard for whatever it is.
the feeling won't simply go away ok. it stays for so long i don't dare to make any other wishes. i'm so fail.
=.=

and now. there's no turning back.
let's not look back.
don't look back.
DON"T LOOK BACK!!!!
i'm so no fate with jap..
it's such a once-in-a-lifetime chance.
God. Please please please tell me i'm not going to spend the rest of my life regretting at the decision i made at the spur of moment.
wtf.

what makes me stay.
is it you, is it him or is it my future.
...
i'd rather choose to stay for my future.
relationship is so very unreliable.
i have absolutely zero faith in it.
o.O

closed off from love
i didn't need the pain
once or twice was enough
and it was all in vain

something happened for the very first time with you
my heart melted to the ground
found something true
everyone's looking around
thinking i'm going crazy

but i don't care what they say
i'm in love with you
they try to pull me away
but they don't know the truth
my heart's crippled by the vein
that i keep on close in

you cut me open and i,
keep bleeding..
keep keep bleeding love...
keep bleeding..
keep keep bleeding love...

but then again, it feels stupid to have fallen in love with someone
i've never even met and worse, barely known.

i guess that's why i'm in such a messy state, ain't i.
*frown*
i need a vacuum cleaner to suck all this mess outta my mind.
you have one to borrow?
argh!

by the way,

one of the scenaries in seam riep that i <3

aiks. no mood to blog.

bye for now, my dream

2008-03-29T08:00:00.008+08:00

a mail that i'd been anticipated for 2 months..

and then when it finally arrived..

it's time to send it back...

*heartbreak*
Y________Y

i'm a bad sis

2008-03-28T21:41:00.008+08:00

geezz**

ping's gonna be mad at me if he sees this..

(i know i'm supposed to pack my stuff now but then these photos are a waste if i forgot to put it up and delete it from my camera.)

one hot afternoon with the big, scorching sun shining brightly outside, my cute lil bro suddenly went out without wearing a shirt, clutching yi's motor key. i thought he was going to the nearby grocery, but then, he's never been out of our house's gate without wearing a shirt one lor. even play badminton with him also he will wear his shirt..fishy eh
=.=

so i went to the kitchen, pouring myself a cuppa water. and i saw him on his bike. trying to start the bike..but to his dismay, it cannot be started! AND, with each of his attempts, the bike kept sliding to the back,( think F=ma, he applied the force, F and with his weight, m and the speed a to the back. *crap* wtf.) and he had to manually push it forward..
it was so funnnny!! (sorry i'm bad. ;p)

the earlier attempt..

and i quietly pushed the sliding mosquitoe net aside to have a clearer shot...

and it was so hot he even turned on the fan!!!!

LOL!!

that was the time i couldn't help burst out laughing out loud..!

*Woi! stop taking pic and come help me to start this damn thing!*

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!! Now i know what he meant by his 'afternoon practice'..!

and then he gave up. HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! isn't he CUTE?! ;p

ok, i'm a bad sis.

alright time to get my stuff packed. omfg. it's 1030 and my bag is still empty. I"M SO LAZY TO PACK!!!!!!!!!

=.=

can't wait to show off.
bleh.

gibberish

2008-03-26T23:08:00.005+08:00

say,
given the choice,
would you rather leave your relationship blank;
or would you rather give it a try?

you will not get hurt, if you don't try.
you might get hurt, if you try.
imagine the pain to get through after each breakup. the heartbreak moments. the moment when you found that you were betrayed or the moment that you know you're going to betray.
which means, no pain no gain? =.=

it's going to be lonely, if you don't try.
it could be lonelier, if you try.
the special someone won't/can't/ sometimes don't want to always be there for you when you need them, you see.

you have lotsa time for yourself if you don't try.
think of the moments you can quietly finish your magazine/book/drama, the times when you can go out with your girlfriends whenever you want to, the pms time when you want to be alone. =.=
but if you try,
it actually feels good to come home knowing that there's someone's waiting for you. somemore imagine that you don't need to find a carpark on a Saturday morning when all you need is a 5-min da-pao at the hawker center. great isn't it! :D
and most importantly, no need to drive home alone! no need to put up with those haji pak mat (sorry i don't mean to be mean) or siti fatimah who drive at the right lane at 40km/h, all the way home.
But it's not possible if it's a LDR, isn't it?
And worse,it's not possible if he doesn't have a driving license. =.=

damn.
why is it so hard to decide.
what say you?

the end

2008-03-18T21:43:00.011+08:00

as if it's not enough for a long day like this,
missing genjo sheet, redo genjo sheet, found new mistake but too late for anything.
rework problem, safety NG, all sets need rework. rework the reworked. wtf.
having the usual 'suan siao' from the superior.
PLUS, the no reply from HW. or KIV to be exact. wtf.
whatever shit that i could imagine for a hard day at work.
it all just happened.

i felt so weak i can't even walk myself to the carpark.
and when i've decided to calm myself down a little.
and when i think i could forget and maybe get some help from you?
wtf. it's just purely disappointment.
i shouldn't have dreamt about having any assistance from you.
even though this spells the end of our friendship.
let it be.

tell me, what's the difference between wanting to escape from your current job,
and trying something new at a new job?
tell me, do you have to tell your future employer that you're going to work with him for the next 3, 5 to 10 years so that it's considered 'long' enough?
AS IF, i'm 'that' inferior.
AS IF, i'm going to bring down your company once i set my foot in.
AS IF, i'm going to make you earn less from the so-called profit sharing, if there's any.
AS IF, you own the company.
Do you?
No you don't!
so what's the harm of helping me?

don't apologise for your straighforwardness.
because you're not even close to that.
obviously you should have told me one of the followings;
no, i don't wish to work with you.
no, i'm not going to help you.
no, i don't wish to see you in my company.

and there's only one thing that i wish to tell you.
you and me, our so-called friendship, it's over.
please don't call me again.

negative emotions is not good for health!
o.O

ulcer and me

2008-03-14T00:03:00.009+08:00

打从帶上牙套的那刻起﹐就和我又愛又恨的 ulcer 結下根深蒂固的关系。
爱﹐ 是因为它会让你沒食欲﹐可以专心地減肥。
恨﹐是因為它会让你痛得口齿不清。
普通的对话就像在饶舌一样。夠酷吧~
=.=

曾经有此经历的朋友跟我說﹐这种痛让她明白她还活着。
因为活着﹐所以会痛。
那时听后觉得她好自虐。竟然会有此想法。
万万沒想到原來我也会有像她想法的这一天。
o.0

ulcer的日子总离不开西瓜霜。
特別是喷剂式的那种。
因为它总爱出沒在hard-to-reach的偏僻地带。
讨厌!
>__<

然后﹐
很不争气的我总会在这种无奈的時候想起从前那个﹐
时常帮我喷西瓜霜的人。
虽然事隔多年﹐
虽然过后我们闹得很不愉快﹐
虽然我们不再联络﹐
虽然你不会看到这些﹐
可是我还是想跟你说声谢谢。
谢谢那两年里的回忆。

选择性的脑记忆是好的，
因为这样可以很选择性地
只记住你的好。。
我想﹐
这样会比较好吧？

三月十一日﹐阴天﹐晚上十一点

2008-03-11T22:50:00.010+08:00

穿着超码adidas蓝色T-shirt
趴在电脑前
重複地听着<<小小的幸福>>
忘了是谁唱的
很努力地想了又想
还是想不起
=.=

隐约之间还可以闻到今早出门前
噴在手腕上的香水味
有点挥之不散的感觉

空气中弥漫着
好多好多的回憶
回憶重叠再重叠

一時之间
透不过气
-____-"

0203 Sunday!

2008-03-04T20:37:00.026+08:00

Last weekend was an eventful one for me. Reached KL around 5 or 6 something.
Had a light meal at the Island restaurant in Pavillion before the fish feeding..

JK acting cute

I was so beria-ia for the fish-feeding and had been constantly remind JK bout our plan.

Fish feeding ppl. (psst not to miss: the therapist guy in purple shirt is cute!!!!)

JK told me bout his friend's experience, saying that it's quite ticklish and painful.. but I was so excited I totally ignored him.
o.0

JK having his feet clean

However...as soon as I had a close look at the fishes in the pool..I chickened out and told JK to go ahead without me.

Look at the hungry fish! o.0

JK said I was the one who suggested it so I must try. @_____________________@

JK both feet in

After he tried for like 2 mins, I asked him how does it feel. He said: "A bit ticklish, but VERY GOOD. FAster TRY!"
So I..

And it was SUPER ticklish Ok!! Not just a little bit ler?!

=.=

I kept trying on and off by putting either side of my feet in the pool. The therapist even came to me and gave me a magazine, telling me not to look at the fishes so that I won't feel ticklish. o.0 Anyway, I gave up after a few trials cos' I really CANNOT stand the ticklish feeling..
JK was very brave cos' he even tried the bigger fish:

Somemore can very relax like that, take photo using his phone.

=.=

So basically, I was there to only experience looking at how ppl react feeding fish.

Even a small kid is braver than me T_____T

Anyway, after that, I immediately SMS Denise bout it. Telling her that the experience was simply superb and ask them MUst try. LOL.

Finally it was the moment that I'd been waited for almost a week. And I just screwed it alright. I'm just not good enough for that.. Argh!!!!! COmpletely Spoiled my mood. So instead of going shopping for clothes I went Kinokuniya and I was So Glad to see soooo many Japanese books/magazines/comics! Even found Nodame's piano pieces but it's a bit pricey and so I opt for the Mozart Sonata. Have always wanted to learn more sonatas, the book definitely cheered me up a little.

Met up with JiangCHuan for lunch that day after my so-fail-can-die attempt. o.0

<@ Madam Kwan's>

I was so down I couldn't finish my food though it tasted good..esp the rendang beef. @__@

And as if that's not enough.. I LEFT MY MOZART SONATA IN THE BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*banging head against wall*
@_____________________________________________________________________________@

Wish me luck

2008-03-02T08:55:00.002+08:00

I need lotsa luck!!!!!!

*nervous*

Monday traffic sucks!!

2008-02-25T07:50:00.000+08:00

I'm late for 4 mins! :(

So it's over..

2008-02-22T01:18:00.002+08:00

We gambled the last night away and it somehow marked my first time for not losing more than ten bucks.
o.0
Not to forget the fireworks and the yummilicious fish-head steamboat at Raja Uda. *slurp*

Gotta start my countdown for another 365 days.

Till then, my beloved kuih kapik, almond cookies, lemonade shandy, bak gua and bak huu. I'll miss you guys. T__T
*muacks*

I hate this

2008-02-19T22:02:00.007+08:00

The feeling's back again. The urge to run away from whatever I'm having now.
I don't know whether this has something to do with my job or my life or both of it. Screw it. I just feel like throwing everything away and starting anew in a place where nobody knows me. Where everyone speaks in the language I don't understand. Where I have to work as a waitress who waits on tables/ cleaner who cleans shit/ promoter who gives away brochure for a thousand yen per hour. @__@

But wtf, the plan just doesn't work at the moment!!!!!! Fucked up. Why didn't I do my findings more thouroughly before I applied?! IT's all my fault and I'm so damn sien to repeat the whole procedure AGAIn! The procedure is so troublesome!!!! It just sucks. Everything just doesn't look right now. WHat am I going to do now?!

I feel like changing job. A job that doesn't take up all my waking hours and weekends. KL would be nice. Where most of my friends are. Where I can continue my diploma in Piano/ learn some new languages/ take up some short courses about programming or networking or whatsoever. I just wanna change the life I'm having now. I've had enough!! Maybe I should become a kindergarden teacher. wtf.
o.0

Don't know how to make mom understand this. I dont mean to leave them. I know I will surely miss them. And I know it's hard to live abroad without them. But I REALLY WANT TO RUN AWAY from this!!!! Can't you understand?! This life is so meaningless I don't feel like living at ALL. Let me go please. Just let me GO..!

Was disappointed/touched/angry when dad said he'd rather me to think of him as a selfish dad who just wants to keep his daughter with him than to send her away. Though I promised that I'll return. But deep down, I doubt it. Most of them don't return, do they? It's sad to see them aging and can't spend time with them. WHy is this world so cruel?! Can't the time just stop for awhile?! Why is the decision of give and take can be so hard?!!!!!! I don't want to see them sad. I don't want to give up my dream either. @___@

Seriously, am I asking too much? Am I finding troubles for myself? Am I??

I'm so lost.

'swei-ness'

2008-02-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

The swei-ness that's been following me since the eve of cny doesn't seem to go away yet/

Had a hard time at work last night and came back home to see the return of termites. My harry porter..and many other books and mags. All gone. wtf.

Saw the person at the time I didn't wish to see THE MOST early this morning. wtf. Somemore in my T and shorts PLUS my specs. o.0

Wanted to do my laundry but the washer's piping got problem.

Reversed twice at the mall's exit (with 2 cars waiting behind) cos' I cannot turn into the lane to pay for my ticket. Stupid design. How to make such wide-angle turn at such small space??

Somemore place the machine so far how am I going to insert the ticket without opening my door?!
Lame.

And I forgot to check my tyres' pressure. Hopefully it won't burst tomorrow, like how it did to me last time.

Choi choi choi.

''Mei Hua''

2008-02-06T14:48:00.000+08:00

Golden vase and ''Mei Hua'' that mom took hours to decorate yesterday.
o.0

From spraying the Gold color paint on the vase to cutting the red color silk cloth and pinning it into big and small ribbons.. Great patience isn't it?!